Ups and Downs

This week…okay, this MONTH…now that I think about it, this whole YEAR has kicked my hiney.

I can’t remember the last normal day I’ve had. Even if the events of my day are run-of-the-mill, life sneaks in and wops me upside the head.

Monday was Michael’s birthday, as evidenced in my last post. Man, I love that dude. I did not one thing for him. He understood, but I’m carrying some big time guilt over this.

You see, we had a lady call about our house. She can’t buy it, but wanted to rent. We’ve been against that for three years, but we’re at the place where we are beginning to consider other options. She wanted to see it yesterday (Wednesday). I spent Monday cleaning and grocery shopping and doing homework with the kids, and so on and so forth. I should’ve made a cake for my husband, but I was really busy. Tuesday, I skipped Bible study, and again worked all day on the house. Yesterday, I got everything in order, got dressed and was ready for her to show up.

She never did.

I missed several really important events waiting for someone that didn’t show up.

I finally left the house, drove to the school and got in the carpool line. As I was telling my friend about the events of the week, I realized that I left a candle burning at home.

I live a half hour away from the school. I was not planning to return home until after eight p.m.

I called the two people I know that live in my town and luckily one of them has a husband who can pop a lock with a credit card. The candle was extinguished and now I know who to point at if stuff comes up missing.

Oh, I kid. There’s nothing here to steal.

When I finally got in bed last night, mad about the wasted time, missed events, people that don’t show up, and mad at myself for leaving a candle burning…I started griping. And when I start griping, it’s quite dramatic.

Michael quietly listened to me, nodded appropriately, and said he was sorry it had been that kind of a day. But then he got up and left the room.

You know what I did? I used the first minutes of the day that we were together as my time to vent all personal aggravations. I stole OUR time and turned it into ME time. I threw negative words at him for half an hour.

I don’t blame him for leaving the room. I was sick of myself too.

He came back in the room a few minutes later, and I apologized. He understood. But then he asked me, not for the first time, to try to not let my circumstances dictate how I treat him or my family.

He is a godly, precious man.

And I’m a mess.

But you know what? Sometimes he’s a mess. And we balance each other out.

And it’s beautiful.

In a marriage, you have to ask hard things of each other at times. I’m glad he trusts me with his needs.

Yesterday, I was not on my A-game. But there was forgiveness and grace.

Today, the board was erased and we begin again…not letting our circumstances determine how we treat each other. Remembering that no matter what goes on around us, we love each other, need each other, depend on each other, respect each other and trust each other.

We don’t give up. Because we realize what we’ve been forgiven of by God, and in all of His perfect love and holiness, He continues to wipe the slate clean. He doesn’t let the circumstances of my life determine how much He loves me. Circumstances are temporal, passing, and unworthy of the attention I give them.

Marriage, while I’m on this earth, is the thing I can count on to be permanent. I can look past the circumstances and see Michael.

When I do that, I see Christ glorified in my most important earthly relationship.

Getting mad about a burning candle is no comparison.

 

 

 

Grace

Thirty-eight years ago today, God gave me a gift.

I was not born yet. My parents had just started dating.

But God is sovereign, and in His perfect all-knowing sovereignty, He was providing for me, and blessing me and so many others.

Thirty-eight years ago today, Michael was born.

I have written many posts on how grateful I am for my husband. This year, however, I’m even more aware of how God has prepared us for this time in our life together and how He has given Michael to me to be our leader and head of our family.

Michael is the best person that I’ve ever known.

He is completely selfless. He lives to give to others. He serves us without complaint. He rarely asks for anything for himself, and uses everything he has to help others. He credits all good things in his life to God.

He’s humble and kind. He genuinely talks to people and when he asks how they are doing, it’s because he really wants to know. He doesn’t consider race, social status, gender, money or anything else when he talks to people. He just sees the person for who they are, someone created and loved so much by God.

He loves the world God made, and has a passion and desire to see the nations come to know Jesus. He wants to be out there, sharing the Gospel, because it changed him so completely. He wants others to know that change. He loves talking to others about what God has done in his life.

He’s a great athlete, but not competitive. He plays to have fun and spend time with people. He’s brilliantly smart, but can explain the most difficult concepts in a way that people like me can understand. He is one of the best teachers I’ve had the privilege of listening to.

He grasps God’s Word with an understanding of one who has studied for many, many years, though his own desire to know the Word is still relatively young.

He waits patiently on God to move us where we need to be in life, with our house and other life decisions. He knows God has a perfect plan, and while there have been bumps in the road, Michael is committed to following that plan, every step of the way.

In the twenty years that we’ve been friends, he has never one time befriended someone for his own benefit. He has never done something because he was looking out for his own interests. Even before he knew Christ as Lord of his life, he treated others better than himself.

He is a loving father, and cares deeply about our kids spiritual lives. He loves to play with them, and spends a lot of his free time playing board games, video games, Barbie, Star Wars, Legos, and coloring pictures.

He is fun to be with, can talk about anything and makes me laugh. His opinion matters greatly to me. He loves me for who I am, and our marriage is the best earthly thing I’ve ever experienced.

Thirty-eight years ago, God gave me a gift. I consider it pure grace, because I could never deserve a relationship like this one. Thirty-eight years ago, God brought into the world the best person I will ever know on this earth. And he’s the best person I know because he reflects the image of the one who made him and died for him. Just typing those words makes my hands tremble at the magnitude of what God has done in my husband’s life.

Thirty-eight years ago, God was sovereign. God is still sovereign today. He knows who we are and where we are going. He has changed us and made us new creations, and we praise Him for it!

I love Michael Albritton. I loved him as my friend twenty years ago, and I will love him when I take my last breath. I am so proud to be his wife, and will spend the rest of our days together on earth striving to be to him what he is to me.

Happy Birthday, Michael. It’s your birthday, yet I get the best gift. I’m so glad you were born.

 

 

Some Thoughts on Some Things

Let’s just get straight to it:

1. The Personhood Amendment that the State of Mississippi votes on next week is totally ruining my Facebook time. Everybody has an opinion and feels like the internet is their personal platform, and the world is waiting to hear what they have to say about it. I will not talk about how I feel about the amendment, but I will say that calling people stupid because they don’t think like you do is immature. The comments I’ve read in the last twenty-four hours would border on bullying. Every person can and should make up their own mind. I no longer hope for world peace. I just would love some social media peace.

2. I heard a sermon that shook me up last night. The third point of the sermon (the other three points were great, but point three got to me) was about when God is silent. When you beg and beg and hope and pray for God to give you a ministry, or just show that He’s hearing and working, and you don’t hear anything…what do you do? If you’ve read this blog in the last week or so, I’ve had those questions. I’m contemplating writing a series on waiting. Waiting on an answered prayer is hard. Waiting when you know you’ve been called but hear nothing, is almost impossible. Only by the grace of God can you go each day with no answer, and still have hope.

3. October was a bad month. Pretty much every day stunk. It’s now November. My dad, Michael and Molly all have birthdays this month. Plus, I get to deliberately be thankful every day. I also get to cook my special cranberry sauce. Oh, and pumpkin spice cake and if Michael is nice to me, chocolate chip pecan pie. I’m really happy November is here.

4. I have about 6 loads of laundry piled on my bed, unfolded. It’s frightening. I’m about to go find a movie to watch and get to foldin’.

5. In the last week, I’ve heard about several people I know and love battling cancer. I’m watching my community grieve over the loss of three young men who were very well loved. I read about a precious little boy who was hit by a car, and the elderly man that now faces charges for hitting him. All of these things seem so big, and certainly worth more of a mention than being #5 on a list on a blog…but it’s on my mind and I need to talk about it. People are hurting. Pain and sickness and anger and hurt and loss is lying on our hearts like a wet blanket. More than ever, we have to be salt and light to a world that is suffering. We have to love our neighbors. We have to extend kindness and forgiveness. We have to treat others better than ourselves. We have to speak the gospel, so that we will have done everything we can to make sure we and everyone we love is ready when it’s time. We are not promised happiness and a long life on earth. We are promised hope, and peace and joy and a relationship with a perfect Father who will never leave us or forsake us. Knowing Christ is not about getting to go to heaven. It’s about giving up yourself and following Him and letting Him change you and make you like Him. If it was only about heaven, then we’d die the minute we were saved because the only way to know Him is to be with Him. But we don’t die, we are here on earth, and we must know Him by knowing who He is and what He wants us to do.

6. I have a tendency to go on and on when it’s something I care about.

7. I care a lot about people knowing Jesus.

8. My mom and I are working on a song to sing in church that is Ah-Maze-Ing. We’re fired up.

9. I feel better now that I’ve said what’s on my mind. I promise, I want to be lighthearted and funny, but I haven’t had much of that lately.

10. Except my kids. They’re funny all the time. I’ll leave you with a picture of my baby. We were passing the time in the dentist waiting room…

This is her excited face.

I have no idea what this face is.

Yes, we wear sequins to the dentist. You don’t?

And here are my two Princess Leias. One is wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors. They both are armed with Nerf guns. The white dresses were “borrowed” from the angel costume supply at church. (Don’t worry, church people. I’m washing them, and will have them back in the closet ASAP).

When you don’t make up your mind until 3pm on October 31, you take what you get.