So My Heart Grew 3 Sizes Bigger That Day…

December 26, 2008 at 5:57 am 3 comments

I admit to being a grinch this year.

I had a rough month. There were so many wonderful, bright moments, but for the most part, I was in a bad mood.

But yesterday, Christmas Eve, I read “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” to my nephew, Max. He could have read it to me, he knows it by heart.

I realized, I have not ever read that book.

Oh. My. Gracious.

I haven’t even seen the movie. My dad watches “Jingle All The Way” every year, but the Grinch is only every now and then.

So I got to the part where the Grinch has his epiphane, and I lost it.

Crocodile tears, right there in my plate of mexican stack up (the Christmas eve lunch of champions) while Max recited the book in my lap.

My heart was 2 sizes too small.

Forgive me.

I’ve learned a lot writing about these free gifts. I’ve learned to pay attention to the giving of them and the receiving. My heart is better because of what God taught me through them.

But I don’t think I really caught onto the Christmas spirit this year until Dr. Seuss so gently pointed it out to me what it takes.

My heart had to change.

And change it did, but I’m not going to tell you how. That’s just for me.

So let me just say Merry Christmas, all 33 minutes left of it.

I love my family. I love playing dirty santa with those crazy people. I love laughing so hard I want to cry. I said a word I never thought I’d say in front of my grandmother, and it really cracked me up. I love that overly warm, crowded house with all of those quirky, hilarious, loving, Godly people crammed in there with more food than anyone could ever eat in a week.

I love Christmas eve. I love the day at mom and dad’s house. I love the safety of that home. There is so much love. I love watching my dad wrestle with the grandkids and say things like, “well, over here, Paiz can do whatever she wants!” Oh, he kills me with his permissiveness. I love knowing my children are in their second favorite place with their favorite people. I love that we eat non-holiday food. We used to go out for breakfast, then see a movie. Now we just hang out in our yuck clothes and no makeup all day. And yesterday we added the Wii to the festivities. I never knew I loved Ping Pong so much.

Then late last night, my Michael gave me my present. A little piece of folded up paper with a drawing on it.

A laptop with the word MAC on the screen.

Oh! Happy! Day!

You see, my computer is older than Aidan. It’s a dinosaur. The monitor is the size of a SmartCar. It has already crashed once and we managed to recover. It’s showing signs of doing that again. And I haven’t been able to add pictures to the blog in I don’t know how long.

For this reason alone…let’s get a new one!

So tomorrow, I’m going to get my Macbook. It’s easily the nicest gift I’ve ever been given, next to my engagement ring. I’m so thankful. So, so thankful.

Today we had a wonderful morning. The kids had the biggest Christmas they’ve ever had. Paisley got a pink Radio Flyer trike, and a bunch of baby doll accessories. Molly got some Groovy Girls and Hannah Montana pjs and a tshirt. She got books, puzzles, games, a pink and purple lava lamp and a Tinkerbell storybook pillow. Aidan got a rocket set, the ENTIRE Gorilla Mountain Imaginext set, more Geotrax, a cool tshirt, books, puzzles, games, movies.

And we never went to Toys R Us one time. I’m so proud of that fact.

Michael’s parents came here for the afternoon, which meant a whole day at home. That was a blessing as well.

So there’s my holiday recap. Hopefully after tomorrow, I’ll have pictures as well.

And my final free gift (don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming…)
That precious baby born so long ago. I don’t want to make it a perfect picture. I don’t think it was a clear night with calm animals and sweet smelling hay. I don’t think Mary and Joseph had it easy by any sense of the word. I think it stunk, and the animals were loud. I think Mary had an awful labor. They’re all awful, right? It was dirty and dark. Possibly the most humble beginning possible for a perfect person to be born.

Then he lived. He taught love and forgiveness. He taught wisdom and truth. He IS truth. He was kind. He loved children. He healed sick people in body and soul. But his life was humble, too. He didn’t have any luxuries. He trusted God to provide for him every day. For a perfect person, it wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

Then he died. And it was more degrading and humiliating than the birth or the life. Humble could never describe it. He was killed, while innocent, and all for one reason.

Love.

God loves us so much. More than a person could ever be capable of loving.
And he sent his son away from him to have to endure this thing we call life. All because he wanted to put everything we have done and ever will do wrong on him. Jesus took every bad thing on himself. And God allowed it, because he knew that Jesus’ home was in heaven.

And I’m so glad mine is too. I believe Jesus is who he says he is. I believe God loves me that much. I don’t understand or deserve any of it. But I believe it. I need to believe it. It’s my hope.

I pray you have hope this year. I pray that God’s love for you will be the greatest free gift you’ll ever receive. I pray that you trust that it’s true. He’ll show you that it is.

Merry Christmas. May God’s love be so real to you this year that you can’t do anything but embrace it with your whole life.

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Application I Have No Idea What I’m Doing…

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jen  |  December 26, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Thanks so much for all you share here. My eyes are filled with tears from this post. So beautiful. And I can’t wait to see what you can do with your new Mac!!!

    Reply
  • 2. carriemclean  |  December 27, 2008 at 2:09 am

    thanks. i’ve been grinchy too.

    Reply
  • 3. Kim Garner  |  January 7, 2009 at 2:14 am

    I love this entry. It’s beautiful. Jesus and Dr. Suess both rock, but my our most precious gift, Jesus, definitely rocks more!

    Reply

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