Archive for January, 2009

Engaging the Filter

It was bound to happen, sooner or later.

My conscience kicked in and I had to make use of the edit function on something I wrote. 

Here’s the story: On facebook, there’s this thing going around where you write 25 things about yourself, then tag a bunch of folks and they can write about themselves. I wasn’t going to do it. I blog, facebook is just for saying hello and keeping up with folks.

But I enjoyed reading everyone else’s so much, I made my list.

Apparently, I have been in a really grouchy frame of mind, because while I enjoyed making the list, I added some things that I NEVER talk about. Old hurts and situations I dealt with many, many years ago. I don’t know why I wrote about it, except that going through certain situations has made me who I am now. And I’m happy about that, so I have no hard feelings and I learned so much about who God made me to be, that I think it was worth it.

But 12 hours after I posted the list, I realized that facebook is hugely PUBLIC. And that most of the people I knew then are my “friends” in the social networking realm. It would not take a brain surgeon to figure out what I was talking about.  

So while I don’t regret sharing my experiences and things about myself, I regret using facebook to do it. I would never want anyone for one minute to think that I was being ugly and talking about somebody in such a blatant, public setting. That just is incredibly rude and thoughtless, two things I hope to never be. 

So I edited the post. Maybe the damage, if there’s any damage at all, is done. Maybe there won’t be repercussions. I hope not. But I know that I can’t live with myself knowing that I might have referenced someone in a negative manner and it get back to them. Especially since I’m over it, and forgiveness happened a long time ago. 

I have a horrible fear of being misunderstood or misinterpreted. I don’t mind saying what I think, but I want it to come from me. I don’t like people saying, “Anne said…”, because I may or may not have said exactly that. 

I was very convicted today about something along these lines. I have a tendency to vent when I’m frustrated. I can’t keep frustration and anger inside very long. My mind goes nuts. So I vent to my husband, my mama, my friends and then, as a last resort, I pray. 

Yeah, I know that’s backwards. 

I just wish I could pray in such a way that I got all my venting out to God and then could FEEL better. But sometimes, when I’m really fired up, I try to pray and the anger just keeps building up inside and I just need to go off. And I don’t feel right going off to God. I feel like I have to be all diplomatic and humble and say things like, “I know, Lord, that I’m not perfect. I’m angry at this person, God, but I realize that I have no right to be angry, because I’m sure that my sin is worse than theirs…” and so on and so forth. 

Do y’all do this? 

I feel like if I tell God what I’m really feeling, I’ll sound ungrateful, arrogant, and just so plain sinful that I have no right to talk to him about my situation. 

But here’s the thing: NEWSFLASH, Coonmama (I resort to college nicknames when I’m giving myself a talk)! God knows how rotten I am. He knows I have no right to complain about anything. He knows all the awful stuff about me. 

And he’s still listening. And he still cares. And he still loves me more than I could ever comprehend. 

So my new way of thinking is: I’m going to get mad. Probably in the next couple of days, I’ll get fired up about something. And I’m going to take it straight to the one who cares more than my husband, mama, friends, etc. 

I’m not going to apologize for all the things that are wrong with me. We will deal with that in another prayer time. But I’m going to tell him how mad I am, and just let loose all my feelings…because I can. 

And he will handle it in his time, in his perfect way. He will take care of me, even if it’s by gently reprimanding me about my own callous heart. 

Big lesson for today, huh? Yeah, I’m a bit overwhelmed by it. I actually regret some of my venting to my sweet friends this week. I hate regrets, but I’m going to ask for forgiveness for being quick to anger and even quicker to talk about it. 

This is one of those other sides of the Christian life that I referred to a couple of posts ago. I know it’s not all fun and games. I have so much joy, but being shaped to look more and more like Jesus is one of the hardest things to do. Giving up what I want to do (run my mouth about everything I think), to do what He wants me to (come straight to him, tell him my troubles and not everyone else), is so incredibly hard for me. 

Mom has quoted this to me for years now. She heard it in a sermon 30 years ago, and I cling to this little nugget of wisdom: “Do what’s right, because it’s right, until it FEELS right!” 

So true. I know that by doing what’s right, even when it feels difficult or uncomfortable for me, God will bless, and in time what was difficult to do will become natural, because of my increased dependence on God’s strength to do it. 

I’m thinking increased dependence on God’s strength for anything is a good goal.

January 31, 2009 at 6:13 am 1 comment

And the Birds Sang a Happy Tune in the Background…

I’m telling you what happened this morning only because when I told my friend Jennifer about it on the phone, she laughed and said that we live in a Disney movie. 

And since everybody needs a little Disney in their day, here you go…

I had the joy and privilege of taking the kids to school today. Michael actually wanted to get to his job on time, so I got stuck with the last minute get-ready chaos. 

Molly decided she needed a “small jacket”, because “it’s not THAT cold, just a little bit cold!” (this is a direct quote). Aidan had on a maroon hoodie. Of course he did, he would wear it every day if I would let him. Anyway, he remembered that he had another maroon hoodie in his closet from last year. Molly put it on, and what do you know? Perfect fit. They were both so excited. They were dressed like twins and it just made their day.

I was so tickled at them that I almost called my brother, John Mark, to see what he was wearing today so I could match, hoping to share in some of the joy that only matching outfits can bring. But then I remembered that JM probably had on a blue button down shirt, khakis and a black sweater. I know this because last week he told me he was wearing the same clothes over and over to help save the environment. But that’s neither here nor there, and my blue button down isn’t ironed .

I hope my mom’s laughing at this point. 

So Aidan got really excited that Molly was dressed like him, and he wanted to help her put on the jacket. He was a bit overzealous with the zipper and it snagged her chin. Of course, Molly let out a wail. For such a quiet kid, her cry is L-O-U-D. Aidan looked at me and he teared up and said, “mama, it was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt my sister!” He was truly upset that she was crying. I told him it was fine, that she wasn’t mad and accidents happen. Molly said, “I fuhgive you, Bubboo” (her name for him). Anyway, it was just a real after-school special moment, but it was before school. 

Then, the kids put on their backpacks. Paisley wanted one, too. Aidan, still in helper mode, said, “I’ll get it!” and ran to the stairs. He tripped on the first step, rammed his shin into the step and fell down. Huge tears and wails louder than even Molly came out of that skinny body. He climbed up on my lap and declared today a wash. He said it was just a really bad day and he didn’t even want to have anymore of it. 

We went outside, just Aidan and me. I opened the van and tried to explain to him that a couple of bad things happened, but the whole day wasn’t going down the toilet. I told him that the Bible says that “This is the day that God made, and we will rejoice and be glad!” I told him that if God makes a day, then it’s a good day, just because he loves us so much to give us a new start every morning. He thought about that and agreed. The eyes and nose dried up, we hugged, the background music from “Full House” started up, and we were on our way. 

In the van, Aidan told Molly what the Bible says about the day God made. Molly said, “hey! I know that song!” and proceeded to sing the little song we all know…”this is the day, this is the day, that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made…”

Aidan sat back and said, “you know Molly, that made me feel a lot better. Thanks.”

Molly said, “sure, Bubboo. I’m glad you feel better.”

We got to school after a rowdy, raucous rant about words that start with R (Molly’s letter of the week). As Aidan got out of the van, he told me “I’m gonna make it a great day, mom!” Then Molly grabbed Paisley’s cheeks and said, “This is God’s day, Paiz! Be Glad!!” 

Again, more background music. 

Say what you want to about me overprotecting my kids. Go ahead, say we live in a bubble. But this morning was typical for us. Weird to the world, I’m sure. But I’m okay with that. The sweetness of their growing faith is a challenge to me to continue strengthening mine, and a blessing, all at the same time.

January 27, 2009 at 4:27 am 6 comments

How Old is Elmo’s goldfish, Dorothy?

Fishteen!!!

Aidan made that joke up earlier this week. We were watching Sesame Street (which I firmly believe you never outgrow) and it was Dorothy’s birthday. I asked Aidan how old she was, and that was his answer. 

I laughed for 3 days. Either he’s brilliantly witty, or I’ve dropped my humor level down to a 5 year old. I don’t need to know your thoughts on that matter. 

Michael is ill. He be illin’. (Sorry, I absolutely could not resist). He’s been yuck all day with stomach cramps and chills. At one point, he needed to go upstairs. He walked up the stairs, wrapped in our king sized quilt. He got to the top landing and just lay down on the floor and covered up. We all just stepped over him and went about our business. Poor guy. Not only does he feel bad, he gets no respect. 

This week, I’ve been thinking in “blog”. Everything I’ve experienced, I’ve thought about how to write it down. Now that it’s 11:00 on Saturday night, and I know the few kind souls that read this are sick of my Brad Paisley blathering, and I have time to write…I can’t think of one single thing of value to write about. 

So I’ll kill the time with this face:

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Or what about this one?

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He’s one wacky kid. 

Humor me…one more, since I can’t leave anybody out…

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I had one of her making a face, but I just love this picture of her with my curtains. There’s something about Hannah Montana’s eyes peeking out that just gives me the heebie jeebies. 

I think I have an actual thought swimming around in my head…let’s catch it before it disappears forever!

Lately, I’ve been listening to Beth Moore teach on this show called Life Today. I don’t watch it on tv, but I can watch it online. I’m rapidly becoming addicted to these sessions with her. I’ve never been to a conference with her. I’ve always had such a resistance to large groups of women, but after listening to her teach, I am thisclose to changing my mind. 

Anyway…the session I watched today was about Jesus’ first miracle, turning water into wine at the wedding. Her first point was that Jesus was invited to a wedding. Notice he was invited, because he was NOT a party-pooper! She elaborated on this idea, saying that Christians need to take partying back. I loved it, because I couldn’t agree more. She said that people think Christians are so boring. But Jesus was most certainly NOT boring! He was always with people. He was magnetic. He drew people to him. He probably was funny. He loved kids. He was the guy you’d want to hang out with, but he would never have tried too hard to be that guy. 

I find that in my own life, if I’m not having fun, or planning fun, or reading about fun, or resting from fun, I can get really bogged down in the unimportant things around me that turn my attention from God. As I’ve gotten older, I have even begun to associate a great time with spiritual things. I love people. God made me so sanguine, it’s not even funny. Every time I take that dadgum personality test, I come out 99.99% sanguine. I just love people. I love people that are having a great time. I love games, laughter, risks, music, dancing, adventure, you name it. 

So how do I associate that with my spiritual life? I believe it’s part of my witness, to show someone who doesn’t know Jesus what a blast he is. To quote Beth, “There ain’t no high like the Most High!” I also believe it’s my responsibility to encourage other Christians that an abundant life doesn’t mean an abundance of rules and guidelines that you follow in hopes for a blessing. When there is fun, there is abundance of joy, laughter, love, hope, fellowship. Those things are just freely given. All you have to do is accept what is offered and then enjoy the blessings you receive. 

Now, for those of you that read this with a critical eye…I know there’s more to the Christian life than fun and games. I’m optimistic, but realistic. I know there is suffering. Sometimes very hard, real, painful suffering. There are times when we have no clue if God is even there and what we would say to him if we knew he was! I’m not at all making light of any of these situations. I just am talking about one aspect of having a relationship with Jesus. 

I come from a lot of abundant livers. I mean, I have a lot of family members who live abundantly. (Did you notice I just clarified, and didn’t delete that stupid sentence? Yeah, I crack myself up.) My aunt is such a great example. She retired from teaching several years ago, and is having the time of her life. She and my uncle travel everywhere and spend time with friends and go on mission trips, and add on to their house, and just have a grand time. My mom told me that years ago, they went White Water Rafting. Aunt P got out of the raft after the first run down the river and said, “That was the most fun I’ve ever had, and I have HAD SOME FUN!” I want to live like that. I want to enjoy every minute, and express myself in ways that show that I love my life and owe it completely to what Jesus has done in me. 

Now that I’m all fired up and ready to party, I have to go to sleep. I’m teaching my middle school girls tomorrow. Oh, how I love these girls. I have been praying about what to do in the morning, and tonight, right smack in the middle of shaving my legs (sorry, TMI) I figured out exactly what God wants me to do. I love it when he answers clearly. 

I hope this week is full of abundant living for everyone who reads this. You know I’d love to hear about it, if you want to comment…but I’m good just hoping that you are having a great time in this wonderful life he gave you. 

And one more pic, just to get you started this week…

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You can’t HANDLE the pigtails! Oh, how I love that face. Even though somebody taught her to say “No”, but pronouncing it “Naw!” I have no idea who did such a thing. I ate one of her fries the other night and she swatted at me and said, “NAW!” A straight face I could not keep. 

happy Sunday!

January 25, 2009 at 5:40 am Leave a comment

Better Than This

There’s this song, on Brad Paisley’s 5th Gear cd , that just cracks me up. Here’s the words:

That sleepy little campfire poppin kinda craklin 
We were heatin up th pork and beans 
Bubba said man it don’t get any better than this 
If you know what I mean
We sat there for a minute listenin to the crickets 
Thinkin this is pretty hard to beat 
Til Jr stood up spit in the fire 
Said boys I hate to disagree 

But if a bus load of women, really good looking women,
Just suddenly pulled in here 
Old Joe T. Garcia showed up with fajitas and a 100 gallon keg of beer and Haggard dropped by
And brought Willie with him
And they started takin requests 
Well don’t get me wrong boys this is pretty good
But it could get better than this

Bill Dance and Hank Parker floated by in a boat 
And volunteered to be our fishin guides 
And Richard Petty pulled up in the old ’43 car 
And asked us if we wanted a ride 
We’d all sit around singin Poncho and
Lefty playing poker and smoking big cigars 
Now don’t take offense y’all, I’m perfectly content 
Just sittin here under the stars

And it goes on and repeats a few times. Anyway…I can think of quite a few things that would be much better than the redneck fun mentioned in the song…I don’t think anything could be better than this past Saturday night. 

I’m a big, huge proponent of having the time of your life. Now that I have kids, we all have a lot of fun as a family, but the times where I get to do what I truly enjoy, on my own schedule and with the best companion on this earth are few and far between. 

Saturday night was probably the best of all those times put together. We went to New Orleans to see Brad Paisley, Dierks Bentley and Darius Rucker (you know who he is, Hootie and the Blowfish lead singer…gone country!) We spent the afternoon shopping at the Lakeside Mall, which is still just as loud and crowded as it was when we lived there 6 years ago. But I got a dress for $11 and a shirt for $11, so it was a huge success in my book. 

Then we checked into our hotel. The Le Pavillion. It’s right smack downtown, and it’s 100 years old. We ate there with my bosses for secretary’s day back in 2000, and it’s super frilly. It’s very ornate and has lots of gold and heavy brocade. Get the idea? Michael and I are just not frilly people, but we enjoyed being there. We got to our room, after walking down a long hall filled with paintings of creepy people. The room was relatively small, but I think all old hotels have small rooms. It was well furnished and really pretty. I opened the closet and there they were: two white terry cloth robes with the big crest on the pocket. We immediately put them on and pretended like we were rich and famous. We are so neither!

My favorite thing was the drawn bath menu. For $85 you can have them come run your bathwater in a tub that is barely big enough for one person, and then throw a bunch of rose petals in there and give you some strawberries. Doesn’t that sound like a great deal?? Needless to say, we made fun of the drawn bath menu all evening. 

We got ready and walked over to the New Orleans Arena. Let me insert this bit of free information: That was a great place to see a concert. I’ve never experienced security that well done. They scanned our tickets 3 times before they let us to the door to go in on the floor and then put bracelets on us which they checked twice before we got to our seats. It was a very secure event. If stuff like that matters to you, then this is a great place to go see a show. 

We found our seats. They were 2, yes 2, seats away from the end of the catwalk. I was so excited. This was the view from my seat:

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Darius Rucker was wonderful. So funny and you just have to love that voice. Dierks Bentley was great, too. I don’t love his songs, but he’s a wonderful entertainer. He touched everybody’s hands (including mine!) and drank any beer that was offered to him (which I find really gross, but maybe he has a great immune system…I mean, he drank after a LOT of people!) 

Then it happened. I was trying to get the attention of some stage guys that were at the end of the catwalk. I wanted them to give me a guitar pick, because I promised my friend Randy I’d try to get one for him. They ignored me, then the lights went out. Brad appeared at the top of the stage, singing “Mud on the Tires”. I joined in the cheering and dancing. Michael saw two other stage guys run out on the catwalk. The first two guys ran off, and then one of the other ones ran off, and then the last guy stood up, 5 feet from my head, put his hat on, picked up a guitar and started singing. When I realized that he was standing by me, and what was on the stage was a video, I went nuts. Michael’s words were, “I’ve never seen you act like that in my life!” It was pretty awesome. 

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This was right after we saw him, still during the first song. He was walking back toward the stage. 

The show was incredible. I was so impressed by his guitar playing. I loved watching how they threw microphones to one another and never missed a beat. I loved the video animation that was used. I loved how he worked the crowd, but never made eye contact with the people because he was so focused on the music. It was clear he was working very hard to make sure you got your money’s worth. I was really, and I know this sounds weird, proud to be there. He’s a great musician. He’s a great songwriter. I’m incredibly impressed by all that he can do, from playing guitar to drawing cartoons. He’s funny, honest and talented. 

*I must insert that my husband just asked me what I’m doing. I told him I was writing about the concert, and he asked me, “what kind of American are you? you’re not blogging on the inauguration?” no. I didn’t watch it, so I have no thoughts. Sorry.

Anyway, the last thing I’ll tell you is that at one point, the girl next to me, who was so much fun, dared me to touch the leg of his jeans. I thought that might be a little obsessive and maybe just a little bit crazy, but then I figured, “hey, if I can, then I will!”

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Not a great pic, but you can see my hand touching his jeans. Yeah, I did it. I’m so not ashamed to be a fan.

Here are some other pictures from the night…

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This is Darius Rucker. I’m not zooming on any of these. He was sitting right behind us on the end of the catwalk. 

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Okay…I’m aware of my complete dorkiness in this picture. But I was really pretty much like this all night. I don’t think Michael could have captured a different expression on my face if he tried. 

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This is my favorite. For a camera phone, that’s not too bad. And again, he was really this close. Oh, and he was singing, “Waiting on a Woman” here, which is my all time favorite song. 

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This is before it all started, after we got to our seats. 

We got some great video too, but it saved in a format on my phone that isn’t recognized in imovie, so I can’t post it right now. 

Anyway, thanks for hanging in there on this post. Oh, when we got back to the hotel, we were hungry, so we ordered a room service pizza, put on our rich and famous robes and watched reruns of Deal or No Deal. A perfect end to a perfect day!

Reliving all of this on the blog is totally reminding me that I’m so much cooler online. (That’s a BP song, for all of you non-fans)

January 21, 2009 at 4:37 am 1 comment

I’m Not Making This Stuff Up, Y’all.

I went to Bible Study this morning. 

For the most part, I have issues with groups of women. I tend to feel more comfortable in a mixed gender crowd. Women can be so, I don’t know…girly.

I’m not insecure, but I have insecurities. Does that make sense? And being around women makes me realize that I have them, and that makes me nervous, then I talk too much, and try to hard, and before you know it…I leave wishing I had never shown up. 

So I avoid women’s Bible studies. Like the plague. 

Until recently. 

I’ve been going to the precept class our church offers on Tuesday mornings. For the most part, it’s been good. I’ve gotten to know people I would never have had a chance to meet. It’s all ages and races and shapes and sizes. And the teacher is wonderful. 

And I’m not one to ever turn down free childcare. 

So…the last 2 studies were okay for me. I mean, I got a lot out of the video, but the discussion in class left me feeling like maybe, once again, I needed to avoid groups of females. But today, I decided to give it one more go. 

And I’ve never in my life been more glad that I did. 

The study is called Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed. It’s by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur. It’s about David. 

I won’t get into all that I thought about today, I just wanted to tell you this. (and it took me a whole lot of writing to get to this point…sorry.)

When we become a Christian, which means when we ask Jesus to come into our heart and take control of our life, we are filled with the Holy Spirit. The HS is part of the trinity, which I knew, but never really gave it as much credit as God and Jesus. But it hit me today that the HS has all of the characteristics of God, because it IS God. So, we are filled with all of the power of God. We have everything we need to become everything he wants us to be. 

So why do I go through times where I feel unworthy, incapable, defeated, or just plain stupid? Because opposition is inevitable when the Holy Spirit fills your life. Opposition from our enemy, the devil. The father of lies wants us to feel that way, and believe we are less than who God says we are. 

I have a tendency, and I think everyone does, to let things really get to me. I make up scenarios in my head that are much more dramatic than reality, and I think that’s what’s going on around me. When the Holy Spirit in in me, I have God’s power in me to defeat that, and believe what is true, and rise above the pettiness and foolishness of this world. As a believer, we all do! 

So why would I choose any other way? I could have the peace that comes with power, or I could have the stress I bring on myself. 

Today, Priscilla (on the DVD) was naming many wonderful characteristics of God. Healer, comforter, unexplainable, unchangeable, undefeatable, and so many more. It hit me that I’ve only truly experienced the tip of the iceberg of all that. And that’s sad, because I’ve had the Holy Spirit in my life since I was 6 years old! How much more I could know and experience, but have chosen to be defeated by the things of the world! 

I know I talk about spiritual stuff a lot. But y’all, when the power of God is available to us, when it’s IN us…how can I keep quiet about that? 

I’m overwhelmed and challenged today. I want to know more of this power and the peace it brings. I want my confidence to be in who God says I am. It’s real. It’s amazing. 

And I want more of it. 

 

**and now I have to add one more thing. My husband is the sweetest guy ever. Thanks bud, for that last post. You see me how I would want to be seen, and that means that maybe that’s who I am, because you see the real deal. And if that’s who I am, then I can like that person. Thanks for helping me feel better about being me. It was an awesome birthday…with more to come. I love it!

January 13, 2009 at 8:42 pm Leave a comment

“And this is just the beginning….” by Michael

Anne has been asking me to make a post on her blog for some time, and what better time than on her birthday. Consider this part of my present to her.  Yes, the first 32 reasons why I love Anne.

 

1. She has incredible hair! 

2. She loves spontaniety and is always ready to go have some fun.

3. From day one, trust has never been an issue. I trust her completely.

4. She is completely transparent. 

5. I never have to guess how she feels. It’s always apparent!

6. She has prayed for me since she was 15 years old.

7. I get to hear her sing everyday!

8. She loves her friends and family with an open heart, and I hope that never changes.

9. She was willing to move and live in New Orleans for 4 years, and support me through school in the process.

10. She is the most faithful woman I know.

11. She has a strong sense of justice and always wants “right” to win over “wrong”

12. She has passed her love for reading onto Aidan, Molly, and now Paisley (who at home wants to read a book about every 30 minutes).

13. She likes to stay up late and play “Name that song”.

14. She still cries at award shows (name one, it doesn’t matter: Oscars, Golden Globes, Tony, CMA, etc).

15. She loves musicals!

16. She gets more beautiful with every passing day.

17. Her relationship with God permeates everything in her life.

18. She likes BBQ, too. 

19. She’s a great kisser!

20. She loves to play board games, card games, guessing games, word games, etc. I can’t beat her at Monopoly or Trivia Pursuit.

21. She likes to throw a baseball or hit a golf ball.

22. She understands that my shopping freshness expires after 45 minutes.

23. Manners matter to her.

24. She was my friend for 6 years before we ever dated.

25. She has had nicknames like Coon, Coon-mama and Coon-Anne the Barbarian.

26. She will play me in chess.

27. She has carried, labored, and delivered my 3 children. For that, I am forever grateful.

28. She is a great cook. 

29. She likes to read In-Style and other fashion magazines because she loves fashion.

30. There is an edge of uniqueness in most things she does. She likes to be different.

31. I love her because it’s just wrong that others don’t always see the goodness of her motives and respect the openness of friendship she so many times offers.

32. God told me 11 years ago that He wanted Anne to know how much He loved her, that He wanted to protect her open, transparent, trustworthy, fun-loving heart. And He told me that I was the one He wanted to use.  So I love her because he called me to do so.

 

– Michael

January 12, 2009 at 6:27 am 4 comments

Double the 16, Lose the “Sweet”

Tomorrow I’m 32. 

That’s 16×2, for those of you who like math.

I don’t like math.

I have thought a lot about that lately. I remember 16 well. I had a big party at my house on Valley Falls Road. My friends chipped in and got me a Disney song collection boxed set with 3 cassettes and a book. We have the tapes in my van right now. Oh yes, we do!

I wore a gosh-awful red button down shirt with brown fake-suede fringe and cowboy boots on it. It was supposed to be cute. There are no pictures to prove that it wasn’t. But trust me. It wasn’t.

I spent the evening at the party trying to decide who I thought was cuter, Michael or Mitch. Mitch asked me out, so I went. But 6 years later, Michael proposed, so I married him. I’m still amazed at the timing in all of that. 

My 15th birthday was funny. I had friends over, we decided to bake a cake. It called for a lot of water, and a little bit of oil. We got it mixed up. That was one greasy cake. 

My 18th was amazing. I saw Phantom of the Opera in New Orleans with my friend Katie and my parents. 

I remember my 21st, having a party after the basketball game at MC at our church gym and celebrating with my friend Amanda, who’s birthday is a week before mine. 

My 22nd was spent seeing Les Miserables with Michael. We had just gotten engaged, and he got third row seats for my birthday. 

My 25th was very sentimental. Michael called the library at the church I grew up in and asked if he could purchase some of the books I used to read. He made a donation and then went to the library with my mama and they found lots and lots of books with my name on the card, usually written multiple times. I was such a bookworm. Now, I’m the proud owner of a worn copy of Little Women, that I read 9 times in 1985-86. 

My 26th, I was enormously pregnant, and Michael got me a big, white, fluffy bathrobe. I still love that thing to death. 

Then I had kids for the more recent ones, and I can’t remember what on earth happened. I should’ve had a blog, then I’d know! 

I’ve always considered my birthday my actual “New Year”. I guess since it’s January, it seems like the time to get a fresh start. I know I’ve grown and changed this past year in some big ways. I’m learning not to let things get to me. I’m learning that taking things personally is actually pretty arrogant of me, and it’s really not about me at all. This is a huge step for me, to get to this point. This attitude has been a problem for me all my life. 

I’m not much better than I was this time last year, but I know God is working on me, and hopefully my heart is open and willing to receive what he’s saying. I am proud of my life at this point. I’m so thankful that he’s been with me for almost all of it. I’m thankful for all the people that are in it, past and present. I’m excited about what he has in store for me. 

I don’t feel like this said what I’m feeling inside, but I gave it my best shot. I’ve been entrusted with so much, and I pray that God is pleased with what I do with it. 

If being 32 is as much fun as turning 32 will be this weekend, then I’m looking forward to the best year ever.

January 10, 2009 at 9:00 pm 2 comments

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