You Would Think I’d Get the Hang of This by Now.

January 30, 2010 at 3:20 am 6 comments

I am a bad mother. Maybe. I don’t know.

I love my kids, really I do, but they make me furious. The demands, the complaining, the whining, it’s all just getting to be a bit much.

I have spent the last six years wondering what the formula is to get them to calm down. Now, let me say this: I love that they’re high spirited. I love that they think for themselves. I love that they are funny and creative and honest. My kids are mostly happy and fun to be around.

But I am around other kids who don’t seem to whine quite as much. Or is it just that I only hear and am bugged by my kids?

Or is the problem that I compare them to others, when they are just being who they are?

Or am I not strict enough?

Or am I too strict and they’re rebelling?

I have no idea. All I know is that I love them, and I tell them that many, many times every day. I tell them that God loves them and that Jesus came because God loves them so much. Some days, it’s the best I can do. I tell them that they are special and unique and that they are created in God’s image and that he has a plan just for them.

I just can’t get them to stop climbing on things or rolling around in the floor in public places. They are so comfortable wherever they go, that they think the world is a playground, made just for them.

So it’s hard to teach them that no, they can’t behave like that, while at the same time teaching them to be confident in who they are, and not scared of everything. More than anything, I don’t want to break their spirits.

It’s so hard.

I have no answers.

I guess we could just stay in our house all the time. But then I’d go crazy and have to be put away.

Am I normal here? I mean, I know I’m not normal…I’ve accepted that. But surely others deal with this. Is there a solution that I’ve missed out on somewhere? I don’t know that I want advice, because I probably won’t take it. I just want some validation that I’m not crazy.

And if you don’t have advice, or validation to offer…then does anybody have a cabin in the mountains where I can go for a week or so by myself? Thanks.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

And How Was Your Day? If We Can Avoid the Crazy Saints Fans, It’s Gonna Be Awesome!

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Amanda  |  January 30, 2010 at 4:12 am

    I feel the very same way!
    By the way, my parents have a house in AR if you ever want to go! This morning they were looking out the window watching 4 deer eat and watch the snow fall while they drank their coffee! UGHHHHH!!

  • 2. Lisbeth  |  January 31, 2010 at 1:19 am

    You just described the way I feel, Anne! And I’ve wondered the same things, so at least there are 2 of us! And, I worry all the time about breaking spirits …. it’s such a tough job – parenthood. Wish it came with a disclaimer.

  • 3. Kathy  |  January 31, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    I don’t know how I managed to find this post and read it, but your words articulated so well the way I have felt for the past 23 years. Thanks for writing this!

  • 4. Jeri Ann  |  January 31, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    Thanks for being so honest. Now I don’t feel as much as a weirdo crazy lady who can’t sleep at night wondering the answers to these same questions. Thanks for keeping Mack this morning. I asked him who was in his Sunday School class today and he said “molly and Miss Anne.” See you soon.

  • 5. carriemclean  |  February 5, 2010 at 12:25 am

    either you’re normal, or a lot of us are weird.
    i love my kids, but they drive me nuts.
    i do think moms are extra-sensitive to their own kids’ behavior though. i tend to magnify every whine, every episode of disobedience, and i think they’re being terrible. lots of times we’ll be out, and both mark and i will be crazy frustrated because they are all completely nuts. then as we leave, some old woman will compliment me on my well behaved children. i usually assume she’s senile, or maybe she’s trying to make me feel better because she saw how obviously out-of-control we were. or maybe my standards are too high, and i just need to chill.
    my goal is to love them, mess them up as little as possible, and let God handle the rest.

  • 6. Brandy  |  February 18, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    I am just reading your post today. This morning at our house was awful. I needed to hear that I’m not a failure… that other people go through hard times with their kids. Sometimes I look around and other kids are so well behaved and my kids are running around like crazy people. Robert and I do teach them manners and how to act in public, but they don’t always do what we would like. Thanks again. Have a great day.


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