A Good Choice

February 4, 2011 at 3:58 am 1 comment

I have a good marriage.

A good way to describe our attitude toward our union is, “we ain’t goin’ nowhere else, with nobody else, never.”

Amen.

Anyway, I think I’ve mentioned we’ve had a little sickness in the house this week. It’s been awful. Aidan is in the middle of a nasty relapse. Michael may have progressed from a virus to an infection and can’t breathe to save his life, and has confiscated all blankets for his own personal comforts. The girls felt better today and showed it by being loud.

I’m hanging in there. I’m aware that once I’m tired, I’m as good as gone as far as illness is concerned. So I’m drinking lots and lots of water and vitamin C and praying that God will continue to give me a servant heart, even after six days of sick folks.

So today I was reminded of something that happened a long time ago. (Now I’m referring back to the fact that this is about me and Michael and our marriage, but you needed to know about the sickness for later in the post…and so on and so forth.)

2003: Aidan was a few months old. Our family of three was living in an apartment, and learning how to maneuver life with a new baby. He was a terrible sleeper, and wanted to be held around the clock. We were both exhausted.

I remember one night during that summer, something happened. I don’t remember what it was, but Michael and I had words. Okay, we had a huge fight. I have no idea why, because God is gracious to remove stuff like that from the slate. I do remember a jar of something falling on the floor in the kitchen and breaking, and me saying a word that I don’t think I’d ever said, or have said since. I was furious.

I remember cleaning the floor, and getting in my car and going to the store. I just walked out. We lived right across the street from the store, so I didn’t go far (and in hindsight, I’m amused at myself, because I thought I was being very dramatic) and I just sat there in my car. I left without saying goodbye to him or the baby. I just left in anger and drove away. I sat there in the parking lot and cried and prayed and then made a very important phone call.

To my mom.

I don’t remember what I said to her, but I know it was something about everything being too hard, and I was just so tired, and Michael didn’t understand, and I didn’t have any friends, and poor me, blah, blah, blah.

My mom gently reminded me that I had a family. That things would be hard but life without them would be harder.

I drove back across the street (that’s still funny to me) and walked in the apartment. The man I loved more than I loved breathing in and out was in the nursery, rocking our son. I went in to my two best guys and realized that we have a life. A real life, full of trials and hurts and unfairness. A real life, full of laughing and support and love.

I realized that I wanted nothing else.

So tonight, after a long day of tissue and hot tea, ibuprofen and snuggles, I know that I made the right choice way back then. I am the one, every day since, that receives the blessing.

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Four Against One Making an Impression

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Ellen  |  February 24, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Can I say that your mom’s advice was absolutely incredible? So wise! The one time I called my mom, very early on in my marriage, to complain to her about my husband, she very kindly and sternly told me, “No, I don’t want to hear it. Go to him and work it out!” I always thought that was so smart of her not to just take sides with her baby girl! Anyway, thanks for the story.
    (Just came across your blog randomly!)
    Ellen Grant

    Reply

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