Changing Seasons

August 15, 2011 at 1:29 pm Leave a comment

I couldn’t sleep last night. At the risk of sounding overly dramatic, my soul was hurting. I have so much in my heart and on my mind, I couldn’t  settle. I prayed and prayed and prayed. That helped, and I think eventually my heavenly Father was gracious enough to put his hand on me and gently ease me into rest.

I can just think myself into a tizzy sometimes. Do y’all do that? I have a really good memory, and can remember everything I hear and say throughout the days and weeks. It’s a blessing sometimes, and other times, not so much. That means I replay every conversation I have had that day when I go to bed, and pick myself apart and find all the things I should’ve said differently. Then I spend the next day trying to make sure that everyone still loves me.

It’s exhausting. And it’s an area that I haven’t given fully over to Jesus to change, because I still do it.

This morning, I read Nehemiah, chapter nine. It’s all about God’s unconditional love and complete faithfulness to the Israelites, despite their constant turning from him. Right now, I’m very aware that his mercies are truly brand-spanking new every morning. Praise you, Father, for that gift.

Paisley and I are loving our time at home. It’s different than it ever has been, because she’s four, and can do almost everything herself. She’s more of a helper to me than someone I have to care for, and I find myself with actual TIME to accomplish things. It’s weird, to be able to get my housework done and still have time to read or write. While this season of life came upon me unexpectedly, I’m very aware that it’s a gift from God. I thought I’d be working, and the money would certainly help. But instead I was given time, which is just as valuable of a commodity.

My goal is to learn to make the absolute best use of the time He has given me. That means getting my chores done, but also finding time to play and love on my littlest blessing. I say “littlest” strictly based on her size, not the amount of blessing she brings! And right now, the littlest blessing is watching Cinderella for the eighteen-thousandth time, and I want to enjoy it with her.

May His mercies be new to you this morning, as well.

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With the Thoughts I’d Be Thinkin’, I Could Be Another Lincoln… Creator

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